He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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