honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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