you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
