note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
