you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
