I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize