The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
