The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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