Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
