Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
