A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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