I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
