Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize