DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
