hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Randomize
