physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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