I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
