why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Can you bring me the toilet please
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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