The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
