We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
