just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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