My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
