Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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