DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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