She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
