his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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