Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
