you have to choose: penises or morals?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
