Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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