i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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