ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You can't special order awesome
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
