Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize