Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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