If i could tip my vagina, i would.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize