paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize