I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize