i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
