i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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