when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't turn off my feet"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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