He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
