I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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