I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
