Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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