We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
