there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize