Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
