if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
