I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
