Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
