After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
