okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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