i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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