you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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