I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
