Where did you get a picture of my penis
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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