How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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