I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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