kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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